424.IAM.FREE (424.426.3733) unbound@5keystofreedom.com
We Detox Our Bodies—Our Spirits Also Need Detoxing!

We Detox Our Bodies—Our Spirits Also Need Detoxing!

Body detox isn’t just a fad; for many, it’s become a necessity. We’re learning that our world is filled with toxins, from food and water, cleaning products, and the air we breathe, including the polluted air that comes over from mainland China. It’s mainstream knowledge that these toxins can cause disease and that it’s important to purge as many toxins as you can from your body. Similarly, there are pollutants to our spiritual well-being that eat away at our souls. If you’ve heard me speak on freedom or on creativity, you already know I’m on a crusade to help people go deep and root out whatever blocks their creativity (which I see as reflecting the image and likeness of God) and inhibits fulfilling their God-appointed mission in life.

Fear.  Depression. Overwhelming stress. Anxiety. Compulsive people-pleasing. These have become so commonplace that we tend to ignore them until they escalate to threaten our health, our relationships, and our authentic selves. Through my e-book, Freedom from Hurts, Fears, and Unhealthy Habits: 5 Keys to a Free, Peaceful Life with More Creative Energy, I encouraged readers to use specific spiritual tools to forgive and be healed of lingering resentments, faulty thinking, and resulting habits that interfere with being fully alive, more joyful, and more creative than ever. Freedom from Fears was especially geared to women who value creativity but who may not have been exposed to the spiritual detox work described here for Catholic and non-Catholic Christians, based on five key points supported by what Jesus taught in The Lord’s Prayer 2000 years ago. Surprisingly, only in recent years have ministries developed step-by-step approaches to make this kind of spiritual cleansing easily accessible, and lay people are now helping people experience clean hearts and spirits across the US, Europe, Africa, Australia, and South America, most nobably through the Unbound model of prayer ministry.

The book focuses on how detoxing the spirit—which includes cleansing the heart of resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness—relates to The Lord’s Prayer, verse by verse. And it also tells some of my personal story and the journey from lamenting a relationship impasse through several kinds of training in detoxing the spirit.

Freedom from Hurts cover
The e-book also offers fun and practical tools to help you break through creativity blocks.  Before I devoted myself completely to UNBOUND ministry, I called myself a Spiritivity Coach because I believe in the intimate connection between Spirit and Creativity, each enhancing the other. Accordingly, this e-book presented favorite techniques to help overcome roadblocks and cleanse your spirit of whatever lingering hurts or false beliefs hold you back. I emphasized the powerful blending of spirituality and creativity, because inspiration and execution sourced from deep within draw from a limitless supernatural well. Imagine a retreat where the Holy Spirit and Hildegard von Bingen meet Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the book, Big Magic. And, wow, what excites me with that combo is that we can all have access to not just magic, but miracles!

I define creativity very broadly. It can involve the arts, business, or a service profession. The creative process is in play whenever you do something innovative in a way in which you’re expressing yourself as the unique being you are. I believe we all come from the Creator and thus we are all creative.

The e-book, Freedom from Hurts, Fears, and Unhealthy Habits, was recently included in our Inner Healing Black Friday Bundle and will be offered again soon.

“Responsibility” is a Loaded Word

“Responsibility” is a Loaded Word

I was the oldest of five siblings and responsibility was so impressed upon me that my shoulders became a luggage rack. Try as I might — and occasionally do — I can’t shirk responsibility. Still, I know that this weight of the world isn’t really mine to bear alone. I can ask for help from family and friends or even get online assistance. I can also yoke myself to Jesus who promises to take burdens upon himself and lighten my load [Mt. 11:30]. I can turn to the Serenity Prayer and wisely accept things I cannot change, putting down some burdens as a result. But what difference does our attitude toward responsibility make when it comes to creativity? For one thing, putting down or sharing burdens frees up time and energy that could be put to creative use.

Also, whether you already carry huge responsibility or you chronically avoid it, the fear of responsibility can sometimes subconsciously sabotage your creativity or productivity. If you fear responsibility, you may avoid completing goals through procrastination (another way fear rears its head). Or you may repeatedly quit when you’re ahead but not yet at the finish line.

Let’s say you have a big creative idea, a vision you’d like to see manifested. If you’re typically very responsible, you may plan or start but then set aside your big creative vision as you handle a series of smaller responsibilities you “must” attend to, telling yourself you “can’t” put in the time or effort to move forward on the big creative idea. Or you may think you already have so many responsibilities on your plate that you can’t take on one more thing (not wanting to admit that perhaps you need to let go of something else).

Indeed, responsibility can be both an outright block in the form of excuses for attending to lower priorities as well as a fear that impedes your creative progress. I must admit that I’m easily caught in the former, and that there may be less conscious component of the latter . . . because how could a responsible person like I’ve been all my life fear the responsibility that might come with creative success?

Because we were all divinely meant to be creative in some way, each of us has the responsibility to carry out our mission. Christians have just celebrated Pentecost, reminding us that we are summoned to live all our lives “in the Spirit” [Rom. 8:9, Gal. 5:16,25]. We are to get out of the fear that keeps us waiting in the Upper Room; we are to get out there and live big and bold, doing what God’s called us to do. We are to get up and act without fear, not to push off onto others what we can do and are called to do, and not to leave our light hidden away where no one can see it [Mt. 17:7, Mt. 5:15]. So yes, sometimes doing our creative thing means responsibility. In this post-Pentecost time, how about praying for the Spirit’s guidance and the power of the Spirit to do what you’re being called to do, relying on gifts and fruits of the Spirit like fortitude and perserverance.

It also means using our personal gifts and talents and our unique circumstances that add meaning and beauty, serve and uplift the world. When that comes from the heart, it feels more like play and joy than like work and burden. So we need to get over the notion that creative success means increased responsibility and stop sabotaging creativity to protect our so-called freedom from increased responsibility. When we prioritize our writing, music, art, crafts, dance, performance, hospitality, entrepreneurship, leadership, ministry or service — whatever our calling involves — the creative triumphs we experience will lighten the weight we may perceive responsibility to be. And there’s tremendous freedom in knowing you’re doing what you are here to do!

Awareness is very powerful. Just realizing what your attitudes are towards responsibilities, big and small, informs your decision making, giving you the power to decide from a place that is more conscious, more considered, more intentional. It creates momentum and it empowers you to walk out your purposes.

Visualize feeling lightness and relaxation and creative success all together — even if just for a few seconds or just a tiny bit more than you usually do. Invite Jesus and the Holy Spirit to be present as you close your eyes and breathe with that visualization. Pray to experience the combination of lightness and relaxation, joy and creative success. And then during your creative process lighten up as needed for breaks and self-care. Perhaps add some uplifting music in the background as you work or create. Give thanks as you use your “bodyguard energy” to resist excuses to back away from your creativity, even or especially when the alternative activities come justified in your mind as “handling other responsibilities.” As you do that, you grow your ability to be responsible not just for the quotidian obligations of your household or job but, more than that, for creative causes ordained by the Great Creator and entrusted to you for completion. This is highly spiritual and transformative, which is good for you and for others.

Each successful step you take along a spiritually blessed creative path will encourage and uplift you and others and will be worth the responsibility taken to move forward. If you’d like help in overcoming obstacles and journeying on the spiritual path, perhaps you might pray about and consider signing up for an Unbound prayer session and then getting some spiritual direction.

 

Are You Putting New Wine in Old Wineskins?

Are You Putting New Wine in Old Wineskins?

 

Let’s talk about setting goals, failing to achieve them, and a spiritual coaching tool that can help!

Following the lead of Michael S. Hyatt, I reviewed 2016 and set goals for 2017 that, if achieved, would likely make me feel that I’d had the Best Year Ever. Believing I should, I set a fitness goal based on my intellectual understanding that, although I’m active, trim, and healthy, I had to exercise X times per week for cardiovascular conditioning, regulating blood-sugar, and strength training. At the end of the first quarter, I’d utterly failed to get near the goal and I sought input to help me get on track. I rejected all the suggestions because they didn’t excite me.

I realized I had a limiting belief—that I don’t like to exercise unless it’s just for fun like tennis or snorkeling. I’d built in flexibility and triggers to remind me, and I’d brainstormed ways to try to make it more fun. But the goal didn’t excite me—even fulfilling it sounded more like discipline than enjoyment, let alone elation about it being the best year. I was stuck. My heart didn’t buy into it. In prayer, the Holy Spirit + Creativity led me to know what would excite me. The solution: I revised my goal accordingly and have now been happily meeting my new fitness goal: Get endorphins going for at least 20 minutes of vigorous movement X times a week so I start to love that feeling!

Have you got any goals that need reframing?

Not surprisingly, my physical-psychological challenge tied into what’s been happening in my family and spiritual challenges.

It’s about not trying to put a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment or into a vintage quilt, because the patch will pull away from the old cloth, resulting in a worse tear. It’s about not putting new wine into old wineskins or they’ll burst, the wine will pour out, and the wineskins will get ruined. [See Matthew 9:16-17.] We need to put new wine into fresh wineskins—new ideas, reframes, revised expectations, and a new way of living out our calling—all are asking for new containers, new constructs, and fresh viewpoints. The “same old” just doesn’t work. “Because we’ve always done it that way” isn’t wise reasoning.

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting an almost teen, like our grandson who’ll be 13 in October, requires our daughter (his mom) to use a different approach than when her son was younger. How we relate to her has had to change accordingly.

Our other daughter (in the overalls above) earned a Masters in Art and Ecology this month, right after we went to see her interactive thesis exhibition in which family members shared outdoor experiences (on April 30th with  snow that morning in Albuquerque). One experience (shown here) involved hiking into a wildlife preserve with a unique backpack our daughter made (along with other models) and washing each other’s hands, which was symbolic and moving, then later sharing a meal carried in another of her special backpacks. Definitely new and different art and experiences.

Also this Spring I presented a Lenten Day of Reflection on the 5 Keys to Freedom in Christ, base on Unbound healing and deliverance prayer ministry. It’s a brand new ministry in the San Francisco area, though it’s been growing in other states and countries. The Holy Spirit orchestrated that opening, and from it, we now have a dedicated team of trained women as well as priests referring people to us and lay people eager to know more and come to us for prayer and more training. The ministry (that is, God, through a certain prayer model) heals and transforms people in a way that takes them out of their old skins of discouragement, hopelessness or depression, bad habits, the bitterness of unforgiveness, and so forth, so they can experience the new skins of freedom and life to the full that Christ intended. I’m very involved in ongoing team development and feeling invigorated and enthusiastic.

Extending the metaphor, even my latest 2017 quilt was inspired by a something old (a vintage quilt), but changed enough so I now consider it as a new wine in a new skin! The original was a small mostly handstitched crazy quilt (left or top) and mine is a bed-sized machine-stitched rendition.

Quilt by Chris Boersma Smith, Inspired by an antique crazy quilt seen as Restaurant Nora in DC

Are there areas of your life where it seems the old wineskins aren’t ready for the new wine of your life? Take stock and take heart. Remember to sow holy boldness into the art of your daily living and your goals! Also, try taking absolutely everything to prayer. And maybe, like me, it would help to break your goals into small actions that are challenging, doable with effort, and exciting to your heart and soul!

However, if you’re really stuck, consider if there is a spiritual reason, maybe even a subtle tactic or scheme of Satan, that’s keeping you where you are. If so, 5 Keys to Freedom in Christ prayer ministry, or just reading Unbound by Neal Lozano could be your Get Out of Jail Free card!

Forgiveness is Your Key to Freedom

Forgiveness is Your Key to Freedom

 

Free live workshops help God’s people learn how to unlock more peace, joy, healing, understanding, and freedom will be presented twice next week! In a nutshell, here’s what we’ll explore:

  • Ever wondered HOW to truly forgive situations where you were hurt and still have lingering bitterness, anger, or grief?
  • Do you need help to let go of past wrongs?
  • Would you like to learn a valuable process for purifying your heart?
  • Do you understand what this means? “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” ~Mt. 5:8.
  • Can you identify the numerous “on earth” benefits of forgiveness besides the ultimate benefit of getting into heaven

The 5 Keys to Freedom in Christ are based on Neal Lozano’s Unbound book, the Our Father, and Jesus’ specific teachings. The discussion of why it’s hard to forgive also draws on psychology!

I’ve taught much of this before to parents of young children at 40-minute talk at St. Dominic’s Practical Faith that happens during Children’s Faith Formation on Sunday mornings. But I expanded a shorter PowerPoint presentation into a 90-minute workshop that includes prayer, a creative exercise to help with insights, practical suggestions for putting faith into action, as well as the Scripturally-based PowerPoint presentation. Please pray for this ministry, for those called to attend workshops, to pray for others, and to receive prayer ministry.

13685393895_60b11f1940_bIn the spirit of Oneness, the parish where I gave the “Forgiveness is Your Key to Healing and Freedom!” talks, Mary Star of the Sea, shares our charming little church building with other denominations, who call it Shepherd of the Sea. It’s nestled in the redwoods with a spectacular setting where you can see the waves through the windows behind the altar! We embraced the unity of all members of the Body of Christ and cordially invited those of all Christian denominations to join us!

5 Keys to Freedom in Christ prayer sessions are offered free, with a requested from-the-heart donation to the church or Heart of the Father Ministries only if you feel afterward that the Lord has done a good work in you!

Freedom - Hurts - Fears - Unhealthy HabitsI’ve personally experienced being set free right after forgiving those I perceived to have trespassed against me (including forgiving myself.) That’s given me a passion to minister using the process and to teach others the applicable divine promises!  I present these workshops in partnership with the Holy Spirit as I draw on my experiences as a Catholic spiritual director, a trained UNBOUND team and prayer leader, and as author of Freedom from Hurts, Fears, and Unhealthy Habits: 5 Keys to a Free, Peaceful Life with More Creative Energy, which tells my story of forgiveness and freedom and also sets forth the 5 Keys in the context of the Lord’s Prayer.

For more information about booking me to make a presentation or to learn more about our prayer ministry, please browse our 5keystofreedom website.

Including the Messiness When You Tell Your Life Story

Including the Messiness When You Tell Your Life Story

I recently attended a SF-Spirit conference entitled “Mercy and Mission” and heard a married deacon of the church tell about his extensive drug and alcohol use, his profanity, and even his adulterous affairs . . .

That’s how he lived until he finally found the Love he was searching for in Jesus and turned his whole life around, ultimately entering the diaconate with his wife and kids’ support. It took courage to share so boldly, and his witness was undoubtedly more impactful because of it. Hearing how low he’d been stirred up compassion and proffered hope to others in dire circumstances. Telling his tale certainly exhibited Holy Boldness! It also spawned gratitude that although we have our own crosses, the majority of us seem to have been spared some of those particular problems. A sanitized version of his story wouldn’t have come close to touching hearts the way the messy tale of his journey did.

We All Have Not Only Messiness but also a Unique Life Story

Sometimes our stories have been kept very quiet, especially if they involve shame or perceptions of inadequacy or failure. Other stories are so public that they’ve defined people into a certain persona, concealing (even to themselves at times) who they truly are. Blessedly, even the most heart-wrenching stories can become stories of healing, redemption, and grace, and often that can only be surmised in retrospect. Having your story heard with compassion is a key behind the UNBOUND forgiveness and freedom ministry in which I’m so privileged to serve. Wisely sharing those stories can also help you and others to learn empathy, compassion, communication skills, and conflict resolution.

Sharing My Personal Stories

Hoping that the messiness and brokenness of my life and my thinking at different times would be instructive, I published a series of blog posts on my personal website last year. I’ve engaged in rampant self-criticism and judgmentalism over the years, forgetting that the verdict that counts awaits my arrival at the pearly gates, when Jesus will be my merciful judge. I hope you can accept what I shared as a part of just another messy journey, shared in hopes that it sparks worthwhile reflection for others and brings glory to the One who’s used it all for good. Apologies if you already know parts of my narrative; I’ve told some of it before, but since we’re constantly evolving, I trust that my sharing will reveal a slightly more mature cast this time.

This was Post 1 of the series. The others address how you know when you’re ready for another transition, how I transitioned from practicing law to my focus on spirituality, how dreams can guide you, what I learned while writing Reap As You Sew, how my ensuing business evolved, what spiritual direction is, and my then-latest revelations from the Holy Spirit.

Your comments are welcome, and guest blog posts are invited.

12 Lies We Need to Stop Telling Ourselves

12 Lies We Need to Stop Telling Ourselves

Most women lie to themselves, and that awful habit is a stoppable form of self-imprisonment!

Captive Because of Lies to Herself

They often tell themselves one or more of these (or other) unhealthy thoughts:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I’ll never amount to anything
  • I don’t belong or I don’t fit in
  • Nobody cares about me
  • I have to do it right or be right
  • I’m not seen or heard unless I mess up
  • Something’s wrong with me or I’m not normal
  • I’m a bad mother/grandmother/daughter/spouse/partner/sister
  • What I want doesn’t matter
  • I can’t do anything about it
  • I have to do everything myself
  • God won’t help me or God’s getting back at me

Where do these lies come from?

Typically, false beliefs have their roots in some incident or dynamic that goes way back, perhaps to childhood.

Take my 6th grade report card story, for example. As my fellow 12-year-old classmates and I put on coats to go home one report card day, we showed each other our grades–As, Bs, Cs, and Ds in the main subjects; V for Very Good, S for Satisfactory, or N for Needs Improvement in the behavior category.

6thGradeReportCardLooking at my report card, classmates exclaimed, “Wow, you’re gonna clean up! Do your parents give you a quarter for every A?” I had straight As, and it was in the 60s.

“No,” I said, “I’m going to be in big trouble.”

Sure enough, that night my parents grounded me for weeks, because I got an N in Paying Attention. That day reinforced my belief that nothing I did was good enough, a LIE that kept me stuck in crippling perfectionism for decades. (Of course, the irony is that my paying-attention skills did need improvement — not so much to understand the subject lessons, but simply to be a better listener.)*

 

Awareness, Improvement, Steps to Overcome, and then Freedom

I became aware of the compulsiveness of my perfectionism through personality assessments, by loved ones pointing it out, and from my spiritual directors. When I was in Spiritual Direction School, I had some Aha’s and started lightening up a bit. In Kaizen-Muse™ Creativity Coaching training, while I was writing my first book, my perfectionism came up again. I began consciously lowering my expectations of myself and realizing what a burden and barrier perfectionism had become. Shortly thereafter, in doing Heart Work and Spiritual Cleansing with Convergence™ and UNBOUND ministries, I renounced and became (mostly) free of the lies that I’m not good enough and that I always have to do things right or be right!

If I were still trapped in perfectionism, I wouldn’t dare to express concepts like this on a blog or to teach the concepts I share in my teleclasses. I’d be waiting until I’d read all I could on each subject and had “perfect” posts and teaching outlines—a day that would never arrive. Instead, I accept that only God is perfect, and that in yielding to the Holy Spirit as I write, teach, or make quilts, God can work through me. My weakness becomes an instrument for God’s grace to flow through. Daring to rely on this is what I call Holy Boldness. And I believe that every day we can all sow Holy Boldness into the art of life, however you interpret that!

 

Being free of those lies has opened up so much good, and so much creativity, that I can’t wait to help others get freed of their lies, too—whatever form those lies take!

The good news is that, whatever your habitual lies are, they don’t need to plague you any longer! You can break out of the prison of those false beliefs. You CAN get past the lies, forgive whatever hurt or pain that may have led to them, and put on a mindset of new beliefs to replace those lies!

 

Where You Can Get Help

Read Unbound by Neal Lozano, the book that came out of 30 years of experience in using the 5 Keys approach to healing and deliverance. After you’ve read the book and reflected upon your life’s stories and who or what still breeds hurt, resentment, bitterness, ill will, etc., set up an appointment to receive individual Unbound prayer ministry. You’ll typically meet for 60 to 90 minutes with a prayer leader and an intercessor who will pray with you, listen to your story non-judgmentally, confidentially, and with an ear to you and to the Holy Spirit, so they can guide you through the 3 Keys and help you unlock the door to healing and freedom in Christ. If you’re in Northern California, please visit our ministry page and complete a request form.

Note to Mom:

*My mom reads my newsletter, so to her I say: “Hey, Mom, you know I’ve long ago forgiven everyone involved in that little story, and I ask you to forgive me for telling it again! In fact, I’m grateful it happened, because it demonstrates how seemingly minor and inadvertent things can have unintended consequences and can become some of our best teachers. You’ve also been one of my best teachers! I love you!”