Worry and guilt are disruptive time wasters, the former looking forward and the latter looking backwards. If you catch yourself in them, focus on taking some deep breaths, both to cleanse yourself and to release tension, as well as to bring yourself back to the present moment.
Most dreaded worries never materialize, and Christians have a more useful approach: “Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”~Philippians 4:6-7. If you can turn your worries over to God, let go, and trust, you’ll be so much freer!
Most guilt is unwarranted unless you did something unethical, against applicable laws, or intentionally harmful to another being. That’s not the kind of guilt I hear about most from coaching clients. Their guilt involves choosing between two upstanding things, like making a special dinner and investing time in an art project; answering email first thing in the morning or sitting down and writing for 20 or 30 minutes at the start of the day; a little more sleep versus a little more prayer or meditation; saving for the offsprings’ tuition or spending on inspiring art supplies. Psychologically speaking, that’s “inappropriate” guilt.
Instead of wallowing in guilt, let it go once you’ve given yourself a chance to figure out what message the guilt has for you. If the message seems to be that it’s wrong to take time for yourself or for your creativity, I daresay you very well may have gotten the message wrong. In fact, when women take care of themselves, not only they but everyone around them benefits. Good self-care, even pampering, is sacred! Plus, God intended his creatures to express their creativity. There is a time for every purpose under heaven ~Ecclesiastes 3:1 ~ and both self-care and creativity are blessed purposes. So, see if you can take a few small steps towards creativity, even if other priorities need to consume the bulk of your energies at this point in your life.
Last summer I was feeling bogged down by a long list of perceived shoulds and some related guilt, so I started an intuitive writing exercise with each sentence beginning, “Now it’s time to . . ..” Writing as fast as I could, without enough time for actual thinking, I scribbled down whatever popped into my head. Today I searched my computer for anything I’d saved about guilt and this writing exercise popped up. I’ll share it with you in the hope that you might try the exercise and benefit from your own insights. You may want to do it right now, before you read what I wrote.
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OK, so now you’re back.
I’m calling what emerged for me (through the Holy Spirit, no doubt) Permission from Deep Within:
Now it’s time to shine as I am.
Now it’s time to show my freedom.
Now it’s time to create in all areas of my life.
Now it’s time to help other people shine in their lives.
Now it’s time to serve in love.
Now it’s time to share for the fun of it!
Now it’s time to let go of people pleasing.
Now it’s time to release guilt.
Now it’s time to let go of taking care of everyone else.
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What emerged for you?